The last however long

Dear whoever it concerns,
Miles and I both apologise sincerly for being lazy and not writing anything here for a while, but the amount of time spent lying around on our sofa hungover has meant that this has not been a priority. Since our last entry, the first thing we did was go to chiles answer to Jersey Shore, Valparaiso, a beach town with colourful houses and shit and a mad club. Miles and i were lucky to make it, as i slept through my alarm and miles kept hanging up on Krevice thinking it was his alarm and he was putting it on snooze. Highlights include Kennis the Krevice hysterical laughing (ill put the link to the video of this when i get it) and... some other stuff. Next came my birthday, which led us to going to the most ultimate steak house in the world, a place called Happening. Definetly worth it. Following my birthday, cameeeeeeee erm.... a night out where at pre lash miles sat through a table, bet he could get with a girl with a boyfriend (he lost) and managed to obtain a cowboy hat, aparently through having a conversation about chlamydia... In continuation, next came a bbq on a mountain which was a fucking mission to get to, which started our bbq experience for the weekend, as we had 3 in 3 days. hmmmm meat meat meat. These bbqs led to more pisscapades, with the new game of tissue ball being created in California, our local american drinkery (again, need the link for the video). Carrying on... monday led to the first of our new weekly tradition, MEGA MEAT MONDAYS!ä , where we try a new meat restaurant every week in order to determine the best venues for the consumption of vast amounts of red meat. Happening currently leads the way, followed by Parillas Argentina with Don Carlos currently in 3rd place. The week also led to the rebirth of Sally, who is now affectionately known as "the wild goat".  Wednesday meant another night out, with afterOffice followed by constitution for a wind down, and another hangover thursday. It also meant the return of Angus, our spimml elder, sporting a new tash and a never ending supply of chat. We also went skiing one day, but im not sure which day it was, i think it was saturday or sunday, which led to lots of funny falls and stuff, mainly by me, with a record breaking 30m slide down the mountain eating snow being the one that felt the best. Finally came the big weekend, the fiestas patrias, the 18th of september. As Chile was celebrating 200 years as a country, everyone got friday and monday off, meaning three more nights of bbqs, drinking, mad nights and Sally and Paula showing us the "goat and the peacock let loose" on the dancefloor, a video of which shall appear later. Many other mad and wonderful things happened, including me last night showing my stomach is a machine of wonders, as i not ate, but destroyed 3 macdonalds quarter pounders and 20 mc(not chicken)nuggets. BOOOOOOOOOOOM. this was after falling over, spewing everywere and waking up with the worst hangover in the world, sally attacking fine paying macdonalds customers with a large purple penus, and miles (now Bobby) going off on a random escapade and ringing me to let me know he didnt know where he was. Anyway im bored of this now and im sure ive forgotten loads of shit, like sally getting sunburnt and angus leaving, but who really gives a fuck now.

bye now, and remember, Stay Safe, Eat Steak xxx

forgotten news

2 things i forgot to mention. number 1... yesterday, after the discovery that the miners presumed missing led to somewhat jubilant car honking all over the place and a very happy country, which was good to see. number 2, after waking up one morning, i strolled over to my window to see something completely inexplicable: about 20 people walking up, then down escalators dressed in red t shirts and flippers, whilst another group of them stood and sang at the bottom, before they carried on down the road singing and flippering along. x

week 2 developments

Dear whoever, at the time of writing, we are all waiting for dominos, which is 2 for 1 mondays and tuesdays, is about 5 pounds cheaper or so than england, and has a slightly crispier feel to the crust. this week, we got set our first group project in one of our classes. kennis ended up groupless because her bunch decided to despose of her due to her slightly dodgy accent and very dark clothes. me and boychild are with really keen people. yay girls doing our work so we dont have to. thursday night consisted of an unecessary night, ending in an early night for me, kennis dancing on tables and boychild being boychild. friday, we went to see a dj called hernan cataneo (whose music is designed for people on acid aparently). this night was well... good, one argentinian girl friend of ours insisting on constantly touching my face because it tingled, whilst a rather burly, hairy gentleman asked kennis whether miles was gay, as he his ears are apparently very handsome. this led to saturday being wasted (except i woke up to watch chelsea win 6 0, so nice to hear GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLl gol gol gol gol delllllllll chelsea! 6 times in a game). the next few days have been wasted as well, except sunday, when me and miles went to play england vs chile on 7 a side, and following with most english football teams inability to compete on the international stage, we lost 5-3, blaming altitude and the fact we were a man down for the whole game for our loss. we also joined in rugby training out here, other important learnings are that the front row are affectionately known as 'los gordos'. either way, dominos should be here any minute, so bye now xxxxxxxx oh its here and its good

new house week 1

Upon moving into our new house, we met our new housemates over cheese and wine. They all have exciting, exotic foreign names from unknown neighbouring lands among other countries. Important learnings for the week have been the excitment of tv, which shows more english football than england, and rubbish american tv dubbed into spanish to make it even worse. Excitingly though, the new season of the Jersey Shore, a wonderfully enlightening programme about 'guidos', wonderfully tanned, juiced up, t shirt wearing, bulletproof hair sporting, fist pumping, woman beating 'italian'-americans who are now going on an adventure to Miami, where they creep on girls and find the new Karma, a definite must see. Other news, we are all helping devin (dennis/kevin's new name) with her fear of heights by dangling her upside down from the balcony and making her repeat the alphabet backwards. In chinese. I also managed to do better than both miles and sally in spanish exam we all tried to fail, meaning I was moved into a class above them which really hurts me. Wednesday night constituted of afteroffice, the place to be seen after work, which was exciting for Devin as they played Tom Jones, as she knows all the words and a horrific dance to sex bomb. afterwards, me and boychild miles went to miercolespo, the night for foreigners. not much happened except that random mexicans with moustaches keep trying to chat up blonde girls. and thursday and friday, nothing happened, until the arrival of our argentinean imml cousins. This led to some drinking games, a 3 day long game of never have i ever and various shenanigans. Flo and Drakester undertook the burger challenge, with both promptly failing as they could not follow up a BK Steakhouse Palta with a maki ds quarter pounder (quarter pounders are 1 pound.... fuck you 1 pound cheeseburger). Important learnings this week have been the proving of the 'Japanese business man' psyche by Johnathan Chan of eating sushi, fucking malaysian prostitutes and leaving nights early to go to strip clubs. All in all, week 1 of new flat was dominated by getting too drunk to really remember anything properly, Chan's habits, the arrival and departure of the argentinos, Tom Jones, and the soon to come jersey shore.

bye now

August part 1

so weve been here for two weeks and learnt and done very little so its been awesome and very successful!

 last week we went to after office ( a club) and drank lots of piscolas and had a giggle avec juancho and pablo and co and met englishers which was interesting- especially for olde juan, cough cough! tee hee!!!. then we left and went to another club. we were all in a well bad mood for no reason other than pure hunger especially cox who didnt eat dinner....chump!  after satisfying our hunger at 4 am with some grimey sausage and tuna fatjita things at 4am, we woke up hungry again so sally dissappeard to kfc like the slut she is while me and cox got the last 2 sandwiches left in the petrol station across the road. never eveer eat the last 2 sandwiches in a petrol station  for across the road especially egg and ham ones...most disgusting things everrrr! coxy spent thursday recovering as the three of us endured a painful 2 hours spanish exam in which we dint even have to pass ie we sat and stared at some paper for 2 hours and chatted jibbereish! glorious it was! with friday being the start of our 4 day weekend ( 4 day weekends all term baby!!!) we went house hunting and found a house!! boom!! its glorious!!! to celebrete we had our first beer before we even finished the deal while dennis ( sallys new name) complained she doesnt like the taste of any alcohol. slut! the celebrations continued as we got back to the hosttel, enjoyed a bbq and hit the bars!! after hitting 2 clubs we still hadnt had enough so persisted with our drinking back at the hostel with some crazy irish hippies as they sang 'coom by aaaa' till 8 am. saturday was a hefty day of recovery particularly for dennis who polished off  a botlle of wine ( with our help) at 7.30 in the morning. unsurprisingly we missed our check out time of 1 so were forced to stay one more nite at the hostel. sunday was a great day. new apartment. new housemates. new food!! glorious!!

well keep them coming

peace

University day 2

A useless day, where we sat in a lecture and got talked to about something or other, discovered the house we wanted which had a Jacuzzi wasn’t available, along with our desired, easy option course being full. But an important discovery was made. In Chile most people have rather large facial features, and are to be known as potato heads. Miles, on the other hand, has a really small head and nose and massive ears that move when he smiles, explaining why so many people stare at him when he walks past. Very important learnings. Other important  is quote of the day, by miles: Perdona, DONDE ESTA LA BIBLIOTECA? , finally justifying any Spanish lessons for the last 20 years and the perfectioning of this sentence.

Chumping

Today, in the pursuit of greater learnings, we spent our first day at university, which is a very nice place full of rooms. One of the tasks set to us, after sitting through an hour of listening to a woman talk about something, we went on the “Tour of the University”. The tour, compromised of all the international students there, taught us something: we are now CHUMPS, like all the other nerdlings.  We got lots of funny looks and not many people wanted to talk to us, because by association we were now chumps. Other discoveries included the use of the moustache in latin countries, which is used to hide genital warts which end up on the face. This also explains the phenomenon that is movember, where rugby players cover up genital warts received to the face by growing one. Other important discoveries include the renaming of the aforementioned toots frog, who is now known by Kevin (or Steve) the stinky pirate chap, and another fellow traveller now to be known as Jonathan Chan, the nut stealing squirrel. After this painful excursion, the japesters experimented with sushi and the spicy green stuff, leaving everyone on the verge of chunning at the end of a painful meal. Gracias and good night.
Quote of the day: EY, HAVE GOT ANYTHING IN MY HEAD? - Kevin